Thirty Minute Pony Stories

“This is all your fault,” Bon Bon hissed over her shoulder, “You were the one who thought it wasn’t weird at all that she wanted us to come down here in the first place!”

Lyra scowled. “Well you’re the one who accepted the offer! You’re the one who said that all her idiosyncrasies were because of jitters!”

Bon Bon stopped climbing up the jagged wall and glared at the seafoam green unicorn. Lyra paused in her ascent as well to glare back, briefly glancing over the tattered remains of Bon Bon’s bridesmaid’s dress.

Bon Bon stuck her nose in the air in a huff. “Who’s to say they weren’t?”

“I’d say her using some freaky kind of brain magic on us was a pretty good indicator of foul play.” Lyra snorted.

“Oh, you just think you know everything, don’t you?” Bon Bon grabbed a small ledge and hoisted herself up another painful inch. “You think I’m so stupid just because of what I do.”

Lyra tested the strength of a rock jutting out of the wall. “That’s not true. I think you’re stupid because you don’t think things through.”

Bon Bon gasped, and Lyra glanced up to see indignation blazing in the other pony’s eyes. Bon Bon swept her gaze back up the cliff and sniffed. “Well fine then. I guess this stupid pony isn’t the one saving your sorry flank because she knows the proper way to scale a rock cliff.”

Bon Bon’s flank was practically inches away from Lyra’s face and a straight, pink tail flicked her on the nose, hard. “Just look at you!” Lyra yelled, “You’re somepony else! I don’t even know who you are!”

Bon Bon’s voice was icy. “I am Roseluck, an elegant unicorn with a talent for growing flowers and being just as beautiful as a rose.”

Lyra bit and yanked on Bon Bon’s tail, eliciting a squeal of pain from Bon Bon and the taste of dye in her mouth. “That’s probably why we’re down here, you know! You impersonated one of the princess’ bridesmaids and now we’re condemned to die because you couldn’t say no!”

Bon Bon whipped her head around to retort, but wailed in sorrow as her fake horn finally fell off and tumbled back down into the dark abyss below. Her lip quivered as a small section of her forehead stood out as a darker shade of cream than the rest of her body.

Her voice was unsteady as she mustered her reply, “You said this was foul play. How can this both be foul play and my fault?”

Silence enveloped the two ponies as they both focused on climbing and their own thoughts rather than the other pony. Lyra heard soft sniffles coming from above, and she bit back a sigh as she realized she had done it again. Bon Bon was the “sensitive artist!” and it was a real wonder that she put up with Lyra’s condescending attitude. They had been friends a really long time now. Bon Bon had even kept in touch when Lyra had left Ponyville to attend the school for gifted unicorns in Canterlot. Even while Lyra was out going to parties and chatting it up with other unicorns, Bon Bon had never once failed to write her once a week to cheer her on and let her know how her own independent studies were going.

Bon Bon was the much better friend, Lyra decided. After all, all Lyra really did was rub what she had learned in Bon Bon’s face to talk down to her, and yet Bon Bon always forgave her with a smile and some kind of hoofmade present.

Lyra cleared her throat. “Uh, Bon Bon, I’m really sorry.” Bon Bon said nothing. “I know this isn’t your fault. And I don’t think you’re stupid.” They climbed a few inches more in silence, and Lyra wanted nothing more than to let out an exasperated sigh. She kept it in. For Bon Bon’s sake. “I thought your costume was really good?” she tried.

Bon Bon’s reply came a touch mechanically. “Thank you.”

Lyra winced. “I really couldn’t believe that was you. You even had me fooled when you showed up, heh.”

“A serious actress must be able to convince her closest friends of any fancy she might have.”

Lyra wasn’t sure what that meant, but at least she wasn’t getting the cold shoulder anymore. “I guess I was just a bit shocked to find out, you know? And it’s been a bit frustrating looking at you since.”

“I’m sorry I’m not easier to look at, Lyra.” Bon Bon hissed.

Lyra almost lost her grip on the wall. “What? No!” She steadied herself. “That’s not what I meant! Not at all!”

Bon Bon glared over her shoulder. “What did you mean then?”

Lyra felt a pressure building up in her chest. But she forced the words out before she could think about them. “I just meant that I’d much rather look at my Bon Bon than some Roseluck knockoff!”

Neither pony said a word for long moments, and Lyra suddenly realized how insulting that sounded. She smacked her forehead against the wall; she just couldn’t give a straight up, honest to Celestia compliment now could she? Good Luna she was thick.

Bon Bon began climbing again, at a quicker rate than before, and Lyra had to strive to keep up. The unicorn called up, “What’s the rush? I’m sorry, okay? You don’t have to run off!”

“I’m not running off, Lyra,” Bon Bon’s voice sounded low and husky. “I want to get to the top of this wall so that I can show you how much that means to me.”

Lyra blinked. She ran that statement past as many filters as she could before the lightbulb slowly clicked on. And then she was racing to the top as well.

Commentary from Donny’s Boy

More irritated bantering! Yay! (It’s not even my birthday, either!)

I really liked your take on Bon Bon as a somewhat hypersensitive artistic sort. I felt so bad for poor, tactless Lyra throughout the entire story (though this sympathy did not prevent me from snickering at her plight). It was sweet that they made up at the end, and the promise of imminent make-outs is always a good note on which to end. Good stuff!