Thirty Minute Pony Stories

With a final heave of magic, Celestia pushed the sun below the horizon. Wiping the sweat off her brow, she left her balcony, and retired to her chambers for the evening.

She settled down in front of her vanity, and began attacking the flowing mass of hair she called a mane with a brush. For the life of her, she couldn’t get it to just lie flat. As soon as she was about to give up and call it a night, she spotted a tall, suited figure looming in shadows behind her. She magically placed the brush down, and shuddered. She tried to put on a cheery air before facing him. “Ambassador Xavier! How are you? What brings you to my humble nation?”

The man removed his sunglasses. “Business.” he walked over, his shiny black shoes clacking against the tile. He drew out a manila folder, and laid it out in front of her, completely ignoring the first question.  

She frowned, but quickly regained composure  “You must really announce your presence before you visit. It would be marvelous if you inform my scribes prior to your… visits.”

He glared at her with icy blue eyes. “You know as well as I that announcing my presence would be counterproductive.”  Xavier flipped open the folder and withdrew a polaroid photograph, showing a mint green unicorn. “This one’s is getting nosy again. Our surveillance reports she is gathering mythology books, and has been sketching humanoid figures for the past two weeks. We request that you perform a selective memory wipe, and burn all her findings.”

Celestia examined the picture, and her jaw dropped. “Lyra? This is already the third wipe! She’ll lose her mind if we keep this up!”

“A regrettable, but necessary cost. I can not stress enough the importance of keeping our species separate.”

Celestia furrowed her brow, and flared her wings.The room grew bright with magic. “Xavier, we wouldn’t need to wipe so many ponies’ memories if you could just keep your damn humans from wandering all over Equestria! I don’t-”

He cut her off with a piercing stare. He waited for her drop her wings and step down,  before continuing. “Princess Celestia, I do not hold you accountable for the actions of each and every one of your little ponies. I only expect that you take remedial actions. I can assure you that my own people are treated in a similar manner. Only without magic, our memory wipes are a tad more…intrusive. Consider your subjects lucky.” He wandered around the room, casually inspecting various trinkets she had accumulated over the years.

Celestia shuffled uncomfortably. She didn’t like it when others touched her property. “What if I refuse?” she said quietly. “What if I decide that maybe my citizens deserve the integrity of their own minds?”

He chuckled, cold as ice.  “Now, you wouldn’t want for me to take matters into my own hands, would you?” he asked sweetly. Celestia shook her head, quivering like a leaf. “I didn’t think so. You remember what happened last time you forced my hand, don’t you?” Celestia again nodded.


Xavier’s lips curled upwards. “Good. Now, we will you give you two days to take care of…” He glanced back down at the file. “Ms. Heartstrings… before we take the liberty of wiping her memory ourselves.”  He exited Celestia’s chambers, and down the hall, his clacking footsteps fading into the echoes.

Norse Pony’s comments: An interesting idea. I like the conspiracy take on it, the idea that the only thing separating the human and pony worlds is government conspiracies. Gotta love the conspicuously evil ambassador, too. Also poor Lyra. : ( Her minty man-loving ways will get her in trouble yet.