Thirty Minute Pony Stories

You know what I hate? You know what drives me up a wall, into a nervous wreck, twitching and prying until I find the truth? Nothing specific. No. Not really anything specific thing, ha… ha… hoooo…

Its stuff I don’t understand!

~~~

“Alright! Alright, I’ve found it, I know how to measure this silly, silly…” I chuckle maniacally, “Pinkie Sense! You know how I’m going to do it?!”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie squeaked, “But I’m hooked up to this same machine again, that’s not different!”

“I’m going to go upstairs…”

“Ooh, should I follow?”

“No! No… stay right there. I’m going to go upstairs, and I’m going to stand in front of this door!”

“Okie Dokie! Then what, Twilight?”

“I’m going to stand in front of it!”

“Hm! And then what?”

“What do you mean, then what?” I propped myself onto the balcony, staring down at the mess of wiring surrounding my test subject. “I’ll wait for the door to smack me in the face! Your Pinkie Sense should go off right before that happens!”

“Um…” she tried to crane her neck upward, blinking helmet blocking her view, “I dunno, Twilight, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“It’s something I must do. For the sake of the experiment, for the sake of my data, for the sake of knowledge… I must do this!”

And with that, I stomped myself over to the door, bracing myself. Spike will open it at any time, come looking for me. It was only a matter of time…

~~~

“Hi Twilight!”

With a jolt, I tumbled backward, practically falling off the train platform. I stared at Pinkie Pie, standing there, smiling serenely, as if there was just… not a problem…

“Pinkie Pie! How… how did you get to Canterlot so quickly?!” I laughed nervously, fearing, dreading… “You took the train, didn’t you? Got on another car? No, you had Rainbow Dash airlift you! Did she come to see me too?”

“Nope! Ke~ep guessing!”

“You uh… the balloon! You… did fly here, right?”

“Nope nope nope!”

“You ran, didn’t you.”

“Right up the mountain!”

“No.”

“No?”

“Pinkie Pie, you did not just outrun a train to come see me in Canterlot.”

“Well, why didn’t I?”

“That’s not possible! Hardly any Pegasi ponies are that fast, and you certainly are not that fast…”

Pinkie Pie just grinned cheerfully, completely ignorant of her… her bizarre rule breaking. She’s not lying, is she. She’s not lying…

“An~y~way. You left before I could give you my extra special, super fantastic, just-for-Twilight going away gift, Twilight!”

“Oh, well…” I stared around Pinkie Pie. No saddle bags, no apparent gift… where was it? In her hair? “You didn’t have to come all this way to…” I froze in place. Her hoof. She was lifting her hoof, reaching around her back… No. No nonononono no!

“Here you going, Twilight!” And from nowhere, a basket. Not a little basket, a huge basket. Chocked full of stuff very, very carefully placed, slightest nudge might’ve knocked it out. A fifty mile sprint certainly would have upset the contents of… what am I saying? That appeared from nowhere!

“Pinkie Pie!” I cried, “How did… what the?!”

“What the matter Twilight?” Pinkie stared into the basket of goodies. Clueless. Clueless. “Are you allergic to peanut brittle or something?”

~~~

“No.”

“What now, Twilight?” Pinkie asked cheerfully. Tilting her head like nothing happened.

“Open your mouth.”

She obliged. “Blah!”

“That cake…” I ground my teeth. “Where did it go?”

“What’cha mean, Twilight?”

“That was an entire three-layer cake,” I cried, “You just took one bite! It’s gone! Where?!”

“It’s in my tummy Twilight!” Pinkie Pie giggled.

“No it’s not!” I circled around her, looking her up and down. “There’s not a speck of frosting on your face, not a crumb on your tongue… not to mention just… just, your jaw! Your stomach capacity! How?! How, Pinkie Pie?!”

She shrugged. “Dunno! I can make another cake if you really want me to!”

“What, so, so you can just waltz into the kitchen, and come out ten seconds later with a perfectly made pastry…?!”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “No, Twilight! Ten seconds to make a cake? That’s just silly!”

I made a choking sound in the back of my throat.

~~~

“Pinkie Pie.”

“Yep!”

“You drive me crazy. I just don’t understand you. I just don’t. How do you do all this? How?”

“I dunno Twilight, I just do!”

“And how can you just be okay with that?”

“Same an~swer~!”

I flopped sideways, falling onto Pinkie Pie’s shoulders. She adjusting her sitting position a little, but never stopped smiling. Smiling at me under the stars. A nice, clear night… So unlike Pinkie Pie. Never clear, that mare. Never understandable.

“Well, if you ever figure it out how you do all that,” I mumbled, “Please don’t stop?”

“Of course not, Twilight!”

—-

BSB Comments:

How very interesting. Playing Pinkie’s hijinks straight and having Twilight both notice and be confused was a fun way to go about it. Twilight learning to accept and appreciate them at the end was a nice way to wrap the story up as well. Well done this week!