Thirty Minute Pony Stories

    “A-are ya sure about this, Pinkie?”

    “Trust me, Apple Bloom—Fluttershy is one of the most romantic ponies I know! If you’ve having love problems you can count on her!”

    Before Apple Bloom could raise another objection, Pinkie Pie had already bounced up to Fluttershy’s door, and, without so much as a knock threw it open.

    “Hi Fluttershy! I’ve got another lovesick soul for you to help!”

    “Hey, I ain’t sick!”
   
    Fluttershy, however, was deep in consultation with a mournful squirrel, who was busy wringing its ears and chattering very fast.

    “Really?” said Fluttershy. “You tried the pheromones and it didn’t work? Oh dear.”

    The squirrel moaned something and threw itself on the floor. Fluttershy bent down to pat its back.

    “Welp, she seems busy, so I guess we’ll just have to call it quits—”

    “What?” Fluttershy said, looking up suddenly. “Oh, no—I can help—I’d hate for you to have come all this way.”

    “I couldn’t—I’ve got a bunch of chores on the farm, and if I don’t get back soon Granny Smith’s gonna have a cow! Over for dinner, I mean. And nopony will have churned the butter, so—”

    “Oh, this won’t take long—I’ll be right with you,” Fluttershy promised, then turned back to the squirrel. “Now Squeak, have you—”

    “B-but I’m allergic to talking about love!” said Apple Bloom, almost pleading.

    “I thought I was allergic to kumquats once,” Pinkie Pie interjected. “I turned all big and puffy! But it turned out it was just because I ate forty-seven kumquats.”

    Fluttershy gave Apple Bloom a knowing smile. “I used to feel that way too. But then the most amazing thing happened, and I—well—look at me now.”

    Squeak the squirrel, poked his head up from where he had been sobbing, and gave a few impatient clicks, tugging on Fluttershy’s mane.

    Fluttershy gave a tiny yelp. “Oh, I’m sorry Squeak.”

    Apple Bloom gave a sigh of relief and turned to go.

    “Have you tried impressing her?”

    Apple Bloom hovered in the doorway. “Y-yes,” she said quietly, as behind her the squirrel launched into a series of melodramatic gestures and squirrel-sounds.

    “And she said she liked your acorn hat, but didn’t ask you out?”

—30 Minutes—

    Apple Bloom found herself nodding along with Squeak as Fluttershy spoke.

    “Well, did you try asking her out?”

    “Squeak?” squeaked Squeak.

    “Squeak?” repeated Apple Bloom.

    “Well, if you can’t get your special somesquirrel to notice you, you should make the first move,” said Fluttershy. “Just be yourself. Be confident. Just look Rainbow Dash in the eye and say, ‘Will you go out with me…?”

    “Wait, Fluttershy, you and Rainbow—Oh!” Pinkie practically burst through the ceiling with joy, before diving through the air to tackle Fluttershy. “This is so exciting!”

    “Er—wait, did I just say—oh no—we were going to wait until—”

    That was all Apple Bloom heard as she rushed out the door in the direction of Ponyville. The path before her was clear—and she knew what she had to do, too.

   

    “Hey, Scootaloo?” said Apple Bloom, fidgeting nervously.

    The orange filly looked up from where she was trying to perfect her napping posture on one of branches of the tree that housed the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse. “Yeah?” she said, without opening her eyes. “What’s up?”

    “Um, there’s kind of something I wanted to ask you…”

    Scootaloo sat up. “Okay.”

    Apple Bloom gulped. “Er… can you go deliver a message to Sweetie Belle? I think I need the crusaders for this.”

    Scootaloo lit up. “On it! I’ll be back with her faster than—wait. This isn’t about your stupid crush on Feather weight, is it?”

    Apple Bloom glared up at her friend. “Cutie Mark Crusaders secret crush confession assistance team!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

    “I… but… darn it!” said Scootaloo, and she slid down from the branch and walked over to her scooter. “I wouldn’t even want a cutie mark in something dumb like that anyway…”

    Apple Bloom smiled as her friend rolled off into the distance, then walked over to the old piano and mashed several of the keys.

    Hmmm. No. No. Wait. Yes. That note. And she’d do a kickflip, and land right in front of him, with a rose in her teeth.

    Now she just needed something to rhyme with Featherweight.

   
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BSB Comments:

This was great. Apple Bloom getting romance advice from Fluttershy who was giving the advice to the squirrel, and then Fluttershy accidentally spilling the beans about her relationship to Rainbow Dash were both hilarious. And I loved the ending with Apple Bloom getting the Crusaders together in order to put together some kind of big production to tell Featherweight how she feels. This was really cute and fun. Thanks a lot!