A pony once said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I liked that pony; he was smart, passionate, and very witty. It’s a shame I had to send him to the Other Side. But I’m rambling. For the past… I don’t know. Can you even put a number on how long I’ve been doing this? Anyways, since I can remember, I’ve been doing the same thing. Day in and day out it’s the same routine. Visit a dead pony, take their soul, have them go through the five stages of grief, send them to the Other Side, rinse and repeat. Each pony gets one request, and it’s almost always the same: let me see my funereal. So I let them.
These funerals usually have variation to them: some funerals are full of loving friends of family, others are small and only include the pony’s closest loved ones, and a select few are full of ponies who celebrate the death. Those are always funny. When this particular pony wanted to see her funeral, I thought this would be routine and that I would see the same thing. I was wrong, very very wrong.
I haven’t mentioned a memorable pony in here in a long time have I? The last one I wrote about, was I think Emperor Griffi… no, I won’t get distracted.
Moving back on track, this pony’s name was Pinkamena Diane Pie. An earth pony that was twenty-two when I took her. She died of illness. It’s more complicated than that, but for the sake of simplicity, she died of illness. She and I went to her funeral. I thought it would be the usually affair of her friends and family grieving while dressed in black. I did get her friends and family, but I didn’t expect a country wide funeral for this pony. We stood in Ponyville with what seemed like the population of the village outside. They were all in front of a casket with Pinkamena inside it. Above the village were these projections of the service. From what I could tell, the entire country was watching. Sometimes, yes a hero does get a large funeral, and yes, she is a hero. But none of the heroes I’ve guided received something this big. I was shocked. I told her that I thought only her friends and family would be attending. She told me that they were.
“All of those ponies are my friends,” she said. “I’ve made friends with every living pony in Equestria.” I told her that that was impossible. Not even Celestia or Luna could do that. And they’ve each had a millennium to do that (note to self: must get to that eventually.). Do you know what she did? She just giggled at me. Me. Most just cower in fear when I talk to them. This was sufficient to say new. Not only did the number rattle me, but I found that none of them were wearing dark colours. Some were naturally dark furred, but other than that, not a single shade of black. They were all wearing bright colours. I asked the pony why they might they be doing that.
“It’s one of the instructions I left in my will,” she explained. “I also wanted them to have a band there. But the no black is the most important thing to me.” Despite not having eyelids, I blinked. I don’t know how, I just did. It seemed that we had arrived near the end of it. Standing in front of her casket was a purple unicorn mare. She stood in front of a podium wearing a bright red suit. A band sat beside her as well. She nodded to them, and they began to play gentle music. The mare looked out at the crowd and closed her eyes. And she did a common thing found at funerals, she sang.
“If just one pony believes in you, deep enough, and strong enough, believes in you” she sang. “It stands to reason, that somepony else will think ‘if he can do it, I can do it.’” Another pony joined her. It was a cyan pegasus mare with a bright yellow blazer on.
“Making it: two whole ponies, who believe in you.” They sang. The song goes on for a while. But as I was watching, I saw more ponies join. The song became louder and louder as each voice added to the collective. This may be me being crazy, but I think the whole country was singing. It’s impossible, I know. But I’ve met a pony who has done the impossible.
At all funerals, there’s grieving. It shows that a pony is loved and will be missed. It seemed to me that the entire country was grieving. It just baffled my mind. It was confusing, and it didn’t make sense! I just stood there with Pinkamena, watching them sing. A gentle nudge brought me back.
“I’ve seen enough,” she said. “Thank you.” I weakly nodded and turned around. We both walked into the void. Something about this pony was different. I asked her why she had so many genuine friends. She told me that she wanted to make ponies happy, and that was all. It was clear that she did make them happy.
I often see misery in my line of work. Many have hard times passing on due to this misery. It’s understandable; ponies are going into the unknown leaving behind everything they know. It can be hard. I had an epiphany then. This pony could drag them out of that feeling, and help them Pass with a smile. She could help with work. So I asked her to help. And she accepted. Though highly unorthodox (since I’ve literally been doing this forever), I now have an apprentice. She’s going to accompany me whenever I have to help somepony Pass and…
The smell of baked goods stopped a pale white unicorn sitting at a desk. He turned his head to find a pink pony with a tray of cupcakes in her mouth. She had a smile on her face as she offered them to him. He chuckled as a gray aura covered on of the pastries.
“Ready for tomorrow?” he asked. The pink pony nodded vigorously.
“You bet!” she said. “I can’t wait to make those ponies smile. Thanks for giving me this chance Death.”
“Thank you for giving me something different,” he replied. He took a bite from his cupcake. I’m glad this will be new. It’ll be fun.
Comments by Kyronea:
Poor Pinkie…I wonder what illness claimed her? And yet, she manages to get the entire country to attend a funeral service for her! She really had so much of an impact with her short life, proving that it’s not so much the years you live, as the amount you live in your years. I really love the touches with her funeral service, like the no black. She doesn’t want people to be sad about her passing…she wants them to remember the good she did, to stay happy. She never wants to make others people sad if she can avoid it. Even in death, she brings smiles. Of course, she doesn’t end there. Oh no. She manages to win over the stone heart of Death himself and become his apprentice, because if anypony could do a fantastic job of easing the suffering of one who has died, it’s Pinkie Pie.