Thirty Minute Pony Stories

The night will last forev…

 Yeahyeahyeah. Shaddup already. Didn’t impress us the first time.

 Don’t you know who I am, mortal? I am Nightmare Moon!

 Yeah? And what’s your schtick? Keeping the sun from rising?

Ooh, scary. Go to Antarctica some time – they get night six months of the year.  You don’t hear them going bugshit.

 But I am a powerful magic user!

 Pfft. You used two lightning bolts to take out a pair of guards whose skills basically boil down to standing still and looking intimidating and then laughed creepily, turned yourself into fog and ran away. Christ, Trixie was more impressive than that.

Why you impude…

I want you to consider that for a moment: a two-bit hack of a hedge magician was more impressive than a - what do you call yourself? – a dark demon of the night.

 But…

 Now that I think about it, she was more modest than you are, too. She doesn’t go calling herself a goddess or anything. Great and powerful, sure, but doesn’t start flinging airs of dietyship around. In fact if you’re what passes for a creature of great power, I gotta wonder how you got the job. Was there a raffle or something?  

 You dare?!

Oh and don’t start pulling that ‘I am offended – beware my power’ crap with me. What’re you gonna do – power a lamp at me?

 You…you…

 Heck, now that it crosses my mind, we fought someone with real godlike powers and soundly kicked his ass. I’m starting to think that if you two are the best villains Equestria can hope for, then maybe we’re wasting our skills – a five year old with a bag of rocks could have dealt with the pair of you.

 …

 You two should consider dating. You can trade tips on how to fail and embarrass yourselves in front of others.

 …*sob*…

 Oh Christ, here we go… 

Norse Pony’s comments: Heh, this was funny stuff. I enjoyed the verbal beatdown Nightmare Moon was receiving, and the tone was funny throughout. This is good comedy. The Antarctica line in particular made me laugh, and then the DiscoLuna shipping at the end just sealed the deal and gave me a good meta-laugh.