Thirty Minute Pony Stories

“But…Rarity, you can’t possibly win.”

“My hooves are tied, darling.”

“It’s not such a big deal.”

“It most certainly is!”

“It was just once.”

“No!” Rarity turned to Twilight, glaring. “It will happen again. We both know that. Fluttershy is my best friend. I must do this for her.”

Twilight trotted alongside Rarity down the small path out of Ponyville. Her eyes were wide. “Rarity, let me do it.”

“I have already declared the duel. That monster…he has accepted it. As I said, Twilight, my hooves are tied.”

Twilight opened her mouth and shut it. She wanted to say something. But what could she say?

Rarity sighed. “I would like to stand down, and pretend it didn’t happen. But Fluttershy’s ego is fragile as it is. Somepony must act. It will happen again otherwise. Perhaps my…loss…well, perhaps it will galvanize her to stand up for herself.”

“You know what happens when she does that.” Twilight eyed the rapier Rarity levitated beside her. “Well…do you know how to use that?”

Rarity gave a slight nod. “Fancypants taught me how.”

She smiled at Twilight. Her cheer was plainly faked. “Never fear, Twilight. I might get lucky.”

“And if you don’t?”

“If I don’t…”

Rarity trailed off.

She and Twilight turned and looked ahead.

They’d arrived.

“Well, then.” Rarity’s eyes narrowed, as she gave a shallow bow. “I have arrived.”

Angel Bunny returned the bow. Then, he raised his little bread knife and charged.

Epilogue

“Well, that went well.”

Rarity grunted.

“I mean, compared to getting killed.”

Rarity rolled her eyes.

Twilight coughed. “It could have been worse, anyway.”

“My own cat saves my hide,” Rarity muttered. She squirmed in the hospital bed. Her leg was in a cast, and bandages covered the top of her head.

“Well, you might have won without Opal’s help.”

“I was completely thrashed, Twilight, and you know it quite well.”

Rarity glared at Opal, who sat on the head-desk. Opal looked back at her, completely apathetic. “I told you to stay home, you wretched beast. Do you know how embarrassing that was for Mommy?”

“Well, Angel got pretty beaten up, too.” Twilight gave a nervous smile. “Doesn’t that help at all?”

“Twilight, a lady never stoops to fighting, but when she does, she is supposed to win.”

“You did win!”

“My dratted cat did!”

Opal hopped off the desk and stalked off.

“That’s right!” Rarity shouted after the cat. “Run, you blasted feline! When I get my hooves on you—”

“Rarity, stop being ridiculous! Angel was about to shish kebab you!”

“And I would have died with dignity!”

“Getting killed over Angel snubbing Fluttershy’s salad—”

“In front of everypony! The humiliation!”

Twilight scowled. “Rarity, you’re crazy.”

Rarity closed her eyes, leaning back in her bed. “Twilight, you really have no understanding of duelling etiquette. Back in Canterlot, this would never stand.”

“Duels aren’t even legal anymo—”

“Zip it.”

******************************************

RWL’s Commentary

I love the idea of Rarity fighting for Fluttershy’s honor like that. And this story had so many great little twists in it. Her opponent is Angel, she almost loses, and Opal is the one who saves her and gives her a victory. I especially loved Rarity’s line, “Twilight, a lady never stoops to fighting, but when she does, she is supposed to win.” It’s easy to imagine her saying something like that. This was just funny and great all throughout!