Thirty Minute Pony Stories

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there was a beautiful, wonderful, super amazing princess. Her name was … Sunbeam. She was so beautiful and wonder and super amazing that she was loved by one and all, but nopony loved Sunbeam more than her most faithful student … Evening Fall Glimmer.

“Pinkie!”

“Yes, Twilight?”

“You—you—you can’t write a roman a clef about me loving Princess Celestia!”

“A what-a clef?”

“Never mind. Just … just write about something else, okay? Please?”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

A long time ago, in a land now forgotten, there lived a powerful princess. Her name was Fire Star. Fire Star protected her kingdom with great bravery and strength, but even she was not immune to the ways of l’amour. Eventually there came the day where she met a bad boy with a heart of gold named Disharmony, who was kind of like a patchwork quilt if patchwork quilts were ponies instead of blankets.

“Discord? Really?”

“Nuh-uh! His name is quite clearly Disharmony, not Discord. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

“ … right. Yes. Ignoring all that … ‘l’amour,’ Pinkie?”

“Rarity taught me that word! It’s French!”

“I see. Could you … possibly write a story where Celestia isn’t in l’amour with Discord?”

“Everypony’s a critic …”

Before recorded history, before the land was populated by any ponies or plants or animals or even a single party balloon, there were two sisters. They were named … um … Daylight and Moonbeam. They were the only two beings in existence, and they loved one another very much. They really, really loved one—

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Aww! But how come?”

“Because … because … Pinkie! The answer to that should be self-evident!”

“ … are you just being grumpy because Fluttershy asked me to help write her next novel instead of you? ‘Cause that’s just plain silly! Maybe you’re not as good at writing as good old Pinkie Pie, but there’s lots of other stuff you’re great at! Like that one thing you can do with your horn when we—”

“Pinkie. Maybe … maybe you could try writing about characters who aren’t based on my mentor and mother-figure? Possibly? For the sake of my sanity, if nothing else?”

“ … yeah, I guess so. Besides, Applejack probably wouldn’t like me writing these kinda stories about her fillyfriend anyway.”

In an ancient land under an ancient curse, there was a legend that said a mighty hero would step forth to save one and all. A hero who was brilliant and kind and powerful and had super sexy violet eyes and a really cute laugh. She was desired by all the ponies throughout the land, but nopony loved her more than a simple little boulder farmer named Tangerine Tart.

“You’re being really quiet, Twilight. Don’t you have anything to say about this one?”

“Um. Heh. This one … this one is okay.”

Krizak Comments!

What? My beloved CeleJack limited to only a single line in the entire story!? I would curse your name, Donny’s Boy, if my fondness for CeleJack weren’t just a lie concocted by a terrible terrible man. Anyway, this was a very hilarious take on the prompt, Pinkie trying to write about all the restricted ships and being denied at every turn by Twilight’s sensible nature (or furious denial in the case of the first story. >_>) I have to congratulate you as well in writing such a outright Twinkie story in response to a Celestia shipping prompt and getting away with it.