Thirty Minute Pony Stories

Suddenly they came over the ridge! Thousands of them!

 

It was what every rock farmer always feared in their heart of hearts.

 

A stampede.

 

The carnage was horrible. Rocks slammed into each other, sending chips flying everywhere. Smaller rocks were run over, smashed to pebbles by their maddened elders.

 

Pinkie felt woozy with disgust and fear.

 

“What coulda spooked them?!” Ma strained to speak over the infernal rumbling. “They’re usually so calm!”

 

“I dunno!” Pa said. “But don’t worry! We got the high ground! They can‘t get up here!”

 

 

“What’s that?” Inkie looked to the back window.

 

 

Pa turned, face white with horror. “No.”

 

The glass shattered inward as dozens of rocks, painted black except for a slit near their tops, burst inside.

“…Ninja rocks?”

 

“To this day I have no idea what we were thinking when we bred them. I mean seriously! They…They killed my whole family right in front of me. Only I survived to tell the tale.” Pinkie said. “The rocks captured me and let me live as long as I threw birthday parties for them.”

 

“Uh-huh,” Twilight said flatly. “And how’d you get away from them?”

 

“I ran out of candles (rocks are really really old), and slipped away when they let me get more. I’ve gotta keep my eyes out for them in case they come after me.” She looked at Rarity. “I thought Tom was one of them, but he’s cool.”

 

“I have no idea who or what you may be talking about.”

 

“What Ah asked…” Applejack rubbed her brow. “…Was why you were late.”

 

“Oh, well I saw some colts playing marbles and it all came back to me.” Her eyes took on a faraway look. “…All of it…I thought I could forget it and go on with my life, but…” She trained off.

 

“Poor Pinkie.” Fluttershy hugged her shivering friend.

 

“Even if your story’s true, the rule is if you show up late you have to pay for everyone’s lunch,” Rainbow Dash said. “So pony up.”

 

“But I’m traumatized! All my old wounds have opened up, and the faces of my family are floating before me and blood and gore…and…oh, fine.” The pink pony reached for her bit bag. “It was worth a shot.”

—-

Heh. This was really amusing! I really liked Pinkie’s description of the rock attacks, and how she was kept alive to throw them birthday parties. The twist at the end of her trying to get out of paying for everyone’s lunch was fun, and it’s something that she would definitely try pulling. Well done!