Thirty Minute Pony Stories

“Bye gummy! I’m off to see my friends!!!”

That happens every single day. It’s friends, friends all the time! Blech. I’m more of an alligator of action, that’s why I dug a hole through the floors to get outside. Today I went outside and saw a rat, so I ate it. It was really hard to eat so I rolled over it, then it was easy to eat. Some pony screamed “Thank you for killing that varmint!” but I didn’t really care since ponies don’t really affect me.

Later, I walked over to the park and saw the Cutie Mark Whatevers hanging from a rope over the bridge. It looked really fun to chew so I ran over. I tugged and chewed, and tugged and chewed, and tugged and chewed some more and then suddenly they were back on the bridge. I think I heard them say ‘Thank You’ as I was walking off but I’m not sure why.

When I was over by town hall, this pink pony was fighting for her purse with this bigger stallion. I decided that the stallion’s hat looked fun to play with so I hopped onto his back and put my mouth over the top of his head. His eyes had a wonderful taste so I licked it. He didn’t seem happy and started running away from the lady and he let go of her purse. After he ran for awhile this pony that had ‘Police’ written on his jacket came and took that guy away. I think I heard the big stallion yell, “He made me do it” and then the other one said, “That’s an alligator.”

I walked over to the downtown area to see a big fire. I was kind of cold being a cold-blooded animal and all so I walked into the building that was ablaze. It felt superific, but the pony in there didn’t seem so. He was screaming “Kelp.” Now, I’m not too good with speaking pony, but I didn’t think that guy need kelp. I decided to ignore him and look around. What was that smell? Rubber? It was! I ran over to the big red bottle with the rubber on the top and gummed as hard as I could. Oh Celestia I love the taste of rubber! Soon, the warming fire went out and toothpaste snow took its place. “Darnit!” I said, but nopony heard so I kept on walking.

It took awhile, but I was there. The swamp. Whatever season it is, the swamp always feels like one of those, “Spas” that the white one talks about. I sunk in, it felt so warm and goopy! It was…. I don’t think there were words to describe it! I saw a colt writing in a book as one of the bigger alligators snuck up on him. Being the pet of a party pony, I never miss the opportunity to surprise somepony…. Even if I hate them. I ran over and jumped on the bigger alligator’s back and yelled, “Surprise!” The pony looked up, screamed, and then climbed up a tree. The big alligator grumbled something up a recession and swam back in the river. I looked up at the sky and saw It was getting dark. I needed to get home!

“Gummy! Gummy where are you!” I crawled back into the house and gummed Pinkie’s hair.

“There you are silly Gummy! Did you have a fun day? I had a great day!”

I wanted to tell her that I had a terrible day! First , that lady distracted me from my rat, those fillies came and ruined my fun, the police pony stole that other pony’s eyes, my fire got put out by snow, and my new friend ran away and he said a word that made my head hurt when I thought about it. But, of course, I can’t speak pony so I gargled and laid down.

“That’s great!”

No it wasn’t

Soon Pinkie went over to the door after someone knocked it.

It was the eye-ball stealer!


“I would like to award Gummy with the citizen of the year award!” and he held out something with his magic and put it around my neck.

Oh, so I had a terrible day and now I have to carry around some cold heavy thing! Could this day get any worse?!

——-

Piggy Comments:

Heh, this was fun. I’m amused by Gummy’s ‘Who cares about them? Shiny thing!’ distractability throughout, and the idea of him as the accidental hero of all the ponies in Ponyville is just great. I can’t help but wonder how Pinkie must feel about her heroic pet.