Thirty Minute Pony Stories

The stage was set, the actors in place, the ambience perfect.

It was time to begin.

A gong rang out and from the darkness above came a light to slowly illuminate the scene. Fog swirled in an endless haze around a mighty throne. Upon this throne sat a proud figure at rest, but none would mistake his ease for complacency. Cold, reptilian eyes gazed upon the imagined audience in an enrapturing stare, his mouth set in a grim line.

 Then the narrator began. Her voice was baritone, the inflection exaggerated.

“Between the time when the deserts swallowed Palaminos whole and the rise of the daughters of Abyssinia, there was an age undreamed of. Onto this stage did my mighty lord strode forth, to tread with his scaled feet upon the ruins of ancient Equestria and one day wear the jeweled crown of Celestia upon his troubled brow. Know that I, his chronicler shall tell you the –“

Crunch, crunch

The sound was soft, chewy, and came from the figure upon the throne. The narrator fell silent at the noise. Moments passed before the sound faded away as the narrator began again.

“Know that I, his chronicler shall tell you the tales of high –“

CRUNCH, crunch, crunch

The sound was higher now, more brittle, and still came from the mighty warrior upon his throne. The narration dropped off again, as if the narrator was not entirely sure what was going on. A pause signaled the resumption of the opening dialogue.

“- shall tell you the tales of high adventure!”

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH

This was too much for the narrator to handle.

The lights were turned back on, the fog machine was turned off, and the illusion utterly dispelled. The savage barbarian was in reality a tiny alligator. His grandiose throne constructed from pieces of gingerbread from which sloppy bites had been taken out of.

And the narrator was also the director.

“Oh Gummy, stop eating the set you silly ‘gator! Do you know how long it took me to build that?”

The alligator stared up at his director, who was also his owner, and blinked once in a lop-sided fashion, left eye first.

“Don’t give me that language mister or you are out of this production!”

Another blink, right to left this time.

“Yes, I know this isn’t perfect but it’s a start! Remember, I promised the Cake Twins an epic tale of sweets and scales and I need your help!”

Blink blink, right right left right.

“Puh-leease, pretty puh-leease with a cherry on top, will you behave this next take? I’m running out of gingerbread thrones for you.”

Blink once, slowly, followed by a toothless grin.

“Nifty thrifty my alligator chum! And of course you can have a nap while I bake the set again.”

The alligator closed his eyes, slumping on the throne in sleep. The narrator smiled at the peaceful scene, whispering to herself as she turned to recreate the set.

“So did Gummy rest his eyes from his many troubles. In time these stories shall also be told…”

——-

Piggy Comments:

Hee. I would totally go to see this play. Truly, none are a match for the warrior king Gummy - even Pinkie must plead with him for her safety. This is clever and amusing, especially the way the story is told - the narration style made me laugh. Nicely done.