Thirty Minute Pony Stories

“This is stupid.”

“Twilight Sparkle!” Rarity shot her fellow unicorn a deeply scandalized look. “This is most certainly not stupid. This is romance!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. Even though she knew better, she turned to glance at the other pony beside her. “Pinkie Pie,” she began, careful to keep her voice steady and even, “are you sure you really want to go through with this?”

“Sorry, Twi, but I’m with Rarity on this one!” Grinning, the pink pony clapped a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I mean, you can’t stand in the way of love! That’s terrible!”

“It’s not love!”

Pinkie Pie and Rarity gasped in unison.

As her shoulders slumped, Twilight gave up and Twilight gave in. She knew a losing battle when she saw one. “All right, all right. I’ll do it. But I’m not dressing up for this, okay?”

“Splendid!”

“Okie dokie!”

With a brisk nod, Twilight trotted out of the cottage and into the yard beyond. Pinkie had decorated seemingly every inch of Fluttershy’s property with streamers, balloons, and goodness knew what else. Twilight fought the urge to roll her eyes again. Instead, with Pinkie and Rarity on her heels, she made her way toward the ivy-covered arch that had been set up near the stream.

There she found Fluttershy, already tearing up and dabbing her eyes with a tissue, as well as Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Applejack looked mostly confused while Rainbow looked mostly bored.  Each pony’s pet was there, as well, dressed up in little suits and gowns that bore the unmistakable marks of Rarity’s workmanship. Winona even had a little cowboy hat.

And standing under the arch, of course, were Opal and Gummy. Opal wore a white dress with a tiara full of glittering diamonds while Gummy had been attired in a deep violet tuxedo.

Twilight sighed.

“Go on, darling.” Rarity gave her a nudge with her horn. “Don’t keep everypony waiting.”

Dutifully Twilight Sparkle trotted up to take her place under the arch. She gazed out at all of her friends, who stared back at her expectantly, and then glanced down at the little cat and alligator who were waiting by her hooves. Twilight took a deep breath and wondered just where she’d gone wrong in her life, that fate had brought her to this moment in time.

Then, out of ways to stall further, she finally began.

“Dearly beloved,” Twilight intoned, projecting her voice out over the lawn as best she could, “we are gathered here today to join this cat and this alligator together in holy matrimony …”

——-

Piggy Comments:

Truly, Twilight should be honoured to officiate the most important and beautiful wedding in Equestria’s long history - the coming together of Opal and Gummy is a day that none shall soon forget. More seriously, this is really, really funny - I dig the whole premise, but I especially love Twilight’s reactions and inner monologue throughout the whole thing - ‘Then, out of ways to stall further’ is just wonderful. Awesome work!