Thirty Minute Pony Stories

“… and I know that’s not the most logical worry to have but, honestly, I’m not sure how much logic comes into play with a pony like her …”

He couldn’t stand it.

He really, really couldn’t.

“… a pony like her. Heh. I used to resent her. You know? I used to think I didn’t have time for her silliness or her shenanigans or her … her shindigs. And now here I am, pining over her like some lovesick foal …”

This was the seventh consecutive week in a row. The seventh time she’d showed up in his gardens, babbling almost as fast and for as long as that blasted pink pony she wouldn’t shut up about.

Every Thursday, she came. Like clockwork.

Just like, every Tuesday, the pink one came. And babbled about this blasted unicorn in front of him, babbled about her amazing magic and her perfect violet eyes and her lovely singing voice, and it was really starting to try his patience.

To put it mildly.

” … but there’s no point. Why would a pony like her ever even glance at a pony like me? It’s hopeless.  It’s hopeless, and I’m hopeless, and I think I’d probably have gone insane by now if I didn’t have these little chats … as strange as they are …”

Three hours. She’d been at this for three hours.

Past experience told him that she probably wouldn’t be winding down for another one or two more hours, to boot.

“… I feel vaguely guilty about it, to tell the truth. That’s silly, though. I mean, it’s not like you can even hear me, so I don’t know why I should …”

He couldn’t stand it.

He really, really couldn’t.

And so he didn’t.

Digging down deep within himself, summoning up all of his power and his rage and his swirling vortexes of chaos, he let out a mighty roar—and, like an icicle hitting the ground, his stone prison shattered into a thousand tiny shards.

“Shut up!” he howled at the top of his lungs, as soon as his jaws were free to speak.

And Twilight Sparkle did. She froze, mid-sentence, her mouth agape and her eyes as wide as dinner plates. Before she could regain her bearings, he pointed at the motionless unicorn, and a jolt of magic shot out from his fingertip. In an instant, she was encased in an enchanted magic.

That snapped her from her shock. Immediately she began struggling to free herself, kicking at the bubble’s wall and firing off spells by the dozen. He merely chuckled as she fought in vain against his magic. Finally, after a few minutes, she stopped fighting and settled for glaring at her captor with naked malice in her eyes.

“All right, Discord,” Twilight growled. “You have me. I’m trapped. What are you going to do now?”

“What am I going to do, you ask? Why, my dear Twilight, I think it should be obvious.” He grinned and shook his head in mock disappointment. “I’m going to teach you to dance.”

There was a moment of pure, unblemished silence in the gardens. Not even a robin’s chirp could be heard among the greenery.

“What?”

His grin grew a little wider. “I’m going to teach you to dance. I saw you at that little high society party way back when, you know, and you were simply dreadful. You’ll never be able to earn Pinkie Pie’s affections if you keep dancing like that!”

There was another, shorter silence.

“What?”

“Twilight, please do try to keep up.” With a flick of his wrist, he released his magical hold, and the unicorn tumbled gracelessly to the ground. “Every week for months now I’ve had to listen to your pathetic, mewling, twitterpated whining about that pony. But no more!” His grin twisted into a dark, deep scowl. “Today, Twilight Sparkle, you learn how to woo and win the pony you desire … and with any luck, I shall never have to hear another word about eyes the color of the sky—or a purple mane as smooth as silk—for the rest of my miserable, chaotic existence!”

Twilight picked herself up from the grass and simply stood there, not making the least attempt to renew their battle. She stood, and she blinked.

“… what?”

—-
A/N: I stole this idea from some guy who wrote for one of my prompts. Decided to continue his story. Don’t remember his name. Something with a “K” maybe …

Krizak Comments!

That guy is a hack, Donny, you don’t want to give him any credit! Especially not when you take the idea and run with it in this wondrous direction. I love the idea that Twilight and Pinkie both confide their secret feelings for each other to Celestia’s lawn ornament on a weekly basis, and seeing things from Discord’s perspective put it all in perspective, as it were. I don’t know what I find more intriguing: that Discord actually builds up enough sheer annoyance to break free, or that Discord is genre savvy enough to realize that his freedom is short and decides to spend it getting Twilight and Pinkie together so that his next imprisonment isn’t quite so torturous.

Of course, this now requires a conclusion, which will be titled, “Meh, Something Isn’t Right There.” XD