Thirty Minute Pony Stories

The night on Canterlot was quiet for anyone who took only a slightly look at it. But for those who knew were to search, the night was full of terrors for the innocent. Those who only wished to live peacefully and in safety. But that was something that wouldn’t happen on that night, on that city. However, those who believed in that wouldn’t give up. In special, two of them, who had made the night their domain and decided to fight evil with their own evil powers. For good.

“I am vengeance!” Came a voice from above, on a certain alley with two ponies in there. The unicorn, who was levitating the baseball bat, stopped on his tracks, eyes wide, while the earth pony mare that he was trying to mug stopped shivering, also surprised.

“I am the terror that flaps night!!” The voice chanted again. The Unicorn’s eyes shot all around, searching for whoever was speaking, already having forgotten his victim.

“Who the hay—“

“I am the frosting in the cupcake of justice!” Came another voice, this time, much happier sounding and less intimidating. The stallion’s face froze into a confused expression.

“WHAT? Pinkie, what…Oh, forget it.” Came the first voice, annoyed. Then, the unicorn noticed a bat suddenly flying out of a nearby building, dive-bombing straight into him. Frowning, the unicorn levitated the bat, ready to homerun the flying mammal into the next week, when it suddenly turned into a fully grown pony-shaped dark figure, who fell with a war cry right on him.

“AAAAH!” The unicorn mugger shouted, crashing on the ground at the sudden appearance of the attacker. It jumped out of him, just in time to avoid a swing of the bat. A mist started to form above the alley, while the unicorn focused on the newly appeared challenger.

“Who the hay are you?” He asked, pointing a hoof at the black pony figure with a voice shaking between anger and fear.

“I’m BATMARE!” It hissed, and in a sharp movement, turned on its forelegs and bucked the mugger at lightning speed, sending the unicorn skidding across the alley.

“Heh, easy.” The dark pony figure said, smugly. “Nothing that a little…Woah!” It shouted when a magic aura appeared and levitated batmare, holding her in place.

“Nice coat.” The unicorn mugger groaned, feeling dizzy. “But this ends now…” And started to move forward.

“…For you! Stop right there, criminal scum!” The same excited voice from before completed the phrase.

“Oh, for Celestia’s glittery mane, who—“

With a poof, the mist just above the mugger morphed into a pony shape as well. It giggled mid-air for a moment, before landing right on the mugger. This time the unicorn leaped to the side, swinging the bat at the new challenger. This time, however, it jumped to the side as if predicting the attack.

“Shaky hoof! Woobly tongue! Ooh, itchy eye!” It sang happily at each swing that the unicorn took at her, that missed completely. It had already forgotten about the first challenger, who was now missing. “Rainbow Bat!”

The unicorn looked puzzled for a moment, but then a bat dive bombed into him, latching into his neck and biting down. With a poof of smoke, it turned into the first pony to attack him, this

time biting hard on the back of his neck. The unicorn felt dizzy, then light-headed, and then finally passed out.

“Nice one, Rainbow!” Said Pinkie, taking off her mask to congratulate her friend on a good night’s job.

“Eeew!” Rainbow Dash said, quickly taking off her mask as well and making faces at the bitter taste, scrapping at her tongue with a hoof. “Man, I hate the taste of this thing! Why did it have to be blood?”

“I know, right?” Pinkie said, tapping her chin with a hoof. “Why couldn’t we be cupcake vampires? It would be a lot more fun! And we would probably be able to turn into frosting!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Dash said, putting back her mask. “At least the powers are totally awesome.” And she turned to the back of the alley, stuffing out her chest. “No need to thank me, citizen, I’m sure it…wasn’t…Hey, where is she?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking around.

“I think she ran when you bucked that guy.” Pinkie answered, pointing at the end of the alley.

“Aw, man.” Rainbow complained, rolling her eyes. “Well, at least we did it. What happens to that guy now?” Rainbow Dash said, pointing a hoof at the knocked out unicorn.

“I don’t know! Leave him to the police?”

“You got it. You know, this super hero thing might work pretty well.”

“Won’t anypony find it weird that we only come out at night?”

“Naaah, let’s just say the best pranks work at night. Besides, we’ll be in Canterlot for a while, we’ll have time to think of something else.” Rainbow said, turning into a bat, while Pinkie bounced out of the alley, turning into mist. Both disappeared into the Canterlot night; their night of vampire crime-fighting had just started.

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Comments by Kyronea:

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, cursed to be vampires…decide to become superheroes, a mixture of Batman and Darkwing Duck! Sure, why not. It makes sense for these two. They’re nice ponies. If they have to kill to live, at least they’re killing “bad ponies” who commit crimes, right? (Of course that logic only goes so far and they’re killing plenty of good ponies, but you know, whatever helps them sleep during the day.)